#4

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check
He marched straight up to the counter and said, ' Hi. You know,
I just HATE Drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'


The social worker behind the counter said, ' Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.


You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and
he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals
will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her
overseas holiday trips.


This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of
your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in
her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.


A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar,
etc. located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and
the salary is $200,000 a year.'


The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bull****tin' me!


The social worker said, ' Yeah, well . . You started it. '

#5

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he
walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."


The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a
room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."


The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks
into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four
men give her a subtle,

"Well....?"


She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall,

38D breasts,

24" waist,

34" hips.

When she walks into a room people say,

"Oh My God."