PUNS FOR THE EDUCATED MIND
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much
pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her
still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from
algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math
disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and
was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen
in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a
tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
10. Atheism is a non-prophet
organization.
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the
hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go
on a head.'
12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting
bigger. Then it hit me.
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
said:
'Keep off the Grass.'
14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper
spray is now a seasoned veteran.
16. A backward poet writes
inverse.
17. In a democracy it's your vote that
counts.
In feudalism it's your count that
votes.
18. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a
taste of religion.
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