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A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he
attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math
instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer
to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ''There are 3 sides to every triangle''.
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