Yuma Rich's Jokes

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book, but about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says: "Bily, are you all right? You've been in here for a while."

Billy says: "I'm fine Mommy, I just haven't gone "doody" yet."

Mother says: "OK, you can stay here a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says: "Works for ketchup."

The Navy Invented Sex

A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing
over which was the superior service.
After a swig of beer the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.'

'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were
Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after
a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'

The sailor responds, 'Point taken.'

The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'

The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'

The argument continued until the sailor comes up with what he thinks
will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The
Navy invented sex!'

The Marine replies, 'That is true, but it was the Marines who introduced
it to women.'